Monsieur L read the stars. For all citizens of Kiel with a star-addiction.
Aries
The new year will be quite a success for you. Health seems above-average, finances aren‘t getting you in a debtor‘s prison yet and you are going to do big business on the loo! Keep it up!
Lucky district: Schilksee
Taurus
Next year‘s gonna be a slide like no other. So careful with staircases. Family visits are going to be surprisingly pleasant, but visits by the neighbors might end with bite marks. Don‘t forget to clean your oven!
Lucky district: Hammer
Gemini
Next year cannot continue like this. So, don‘t be cheap and buy a new calendar already. There will be a financial surprise waiting, thus it might be better to have too many handkerchiefs than not enough in the house.
Lucky district: Wik
Cancer
Due to the gravity of Neptune and eclipses of Saturn, you might feel intense pain in your feet the next couple of months. Better turn the lights on one more time and check the floor, surprise Legos might be anywhere.
Lucky district: Center
Leo
Your financial category promises five „Sterne” this year. So, check the waste paper container often, otherwise you might miss out on this great chance to acquire these issues of the „Stern“. Would be such a shame.
Lucky district: Gaarden
Virgo
Finally, a good year! There will be anniversaries, gifts, new jobs, and politically, things stay on course as well. So, keep calm and have some patience, everything‘s gonna work out.
Lucky district: Dietrichsdorf
Libra
You will experience immense déjà-vu. …you already had that? Cool! Well then, thanks for being such an avid reader, the Kieljournal crew is very happy about loyal readers. Three extra points for the new year!
Lucky district: Ellerbek
Scorpio
Monsieur L completely forgot about you, and he is very sorry about that. So, here‘s a quick do-it-yourself horoscope in the meantime: 15, 3, green, bottom back. Have fun!
Lucky district: You can answer that for yourself
Sagittarius
Mars is currently in the lesser known constellation of the Lizard Queen Surixu, which will influence you greatly. So better not hunt any lizards in the near future, otherwise you‘ll set yourself up for some payback.
Lucky district: Sewers
Capricorn
Careful while feeding elephants around March. Ducks are also potentially dangerous, but who feeds ducks in 2018? Job-related, it‘s getting better. Finally! And your health depends greatly on that elephant encounter.
Lucky district: Südfriedhof
Aquarius
The stars foresee a pleasant 2018. Certainly, better than 2016. If you are an ascendant deer, you better buckle up, for all others the year will run on its own, it advances even in your sleep.
Lucky district: Mettenhof
Pisces
Pisces always seem to come last. And this time is no exception: your horoscope will not be released until at least 2103, as parts of the population might be disturbed by it. Well then, good luck with that.
Lucky district: Hassee
Text : Carsten L. · Icons: Gucky
